Category Archives: 2018

I remember the day I sat sobbing on mom’s bed as she rubbed my shoulders and told me that one day – one day, it would be okay. This wouldn’t last forever.

I woke up this morning and wondered why the light coming through my window was so bright.  It was 7:00am.  I looked out at a world that was cascading with white – God had painted the trees last night.  Fluffy, brilliant, clean and sparkling.  The sky was full of clouds, but still, the sparkling whiteContinue reading “dear diary – that beautiful name”

Underneath my gray coat, sweat builds.  I step out into the December air, and suddenly feel the fingers of cold reach down my back, and touch me where I feel most.  Cold. I reach out into my car and turn on the air.  Cold. This is the way Minnesota will be for at least 5Continue reading “dear diary – cold”

I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you how much music moves me. I wish I could tell you how much I cry at the silliest things. I wish I could tell you how fast my heart beats with fear.  Frequently.

the sweet potato casserole is eaten, the leftover turkey was cooked into a curry and served at the church potluck; the cookies and sweets have been tucked away in the downstairs freezer, and I’m feeling a little extra jiggle around the belly. Oh well.  Meal prep and working out 5 times a week starts again.Continue reading “dear diary – even when you don’t feel”

Free from all her guilt Rid of all her shame And known by her true name One day.  We will be this bride.  Oh, that day is too long in coming.  Even so, come Lord Jesus, come.  Rid me of everything that still hinders me.  Let me learn my new name.  Let me call YourContinue reading “dear diary – the bride”

the winter wonderland comes to me, glistening like silver slippers.  the taste of eggs and mushrooms is still in my mouth as I step outside, the cold hitting me hard.  this is a beautiful morning.  my house was slow in waking up, and still, everyone is in their pajamas, eating pancakes and talking about GrandmaContinue reading “dear diary – ola and love”

I planned to write a long, weighty dissertation on the ending of my 22 year and the beginning of a new one. I shall not.

Today, I burn pages. I wake up and check my phone. It reads 6:47. Good, I think. 1 hour before I need to start dressing for church. I ate too late last night and my stomach feels fat and bloated. I need to find a shirt that covers this ballooning muffin top. I sigh andContinue reading “dear diary – burning pages”

Today in my life, my boss bought me sweet potatoes. You know. The kind that are crispy and orange and fried in a yellowish corn oil that clogs your arteries and makes you age at the speed of light. Yeah. Those ones.